


Through The Dark

by TheIronyOfItAll



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Cute, Depression, Eventual Smut, Fluff, I Don't Even Know, KageHina - Freeform, M/M, Romance, Saving, don't worry no one is gonna die! I promise, voleyball
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-14
Updated: 2017-06-21
Packaged: 2018-04-09 06:05:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4336769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheIronyOfItAll/pseuds/TheIronyOfItAll
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hinata was so mad with himself, he had been doing so well, felling so good, but now he felt that he was back to the beginning, and this time it felt worse, so much worse.<br/>"I will carry you over fire and water for your love<br/>and i would hold you closer<br/>hope your heart is strong enough<br/>when the night is coming down on you<br/>we will find a way through the dark"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my mind! First fanfic so......yeah :) i really hope you enjoy the story! You can follow me on tumblr where i will update you about the story! and VERY IMPORTANT: ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE! So please don't be too mean :P  
> tumblr: suchasadbeautifullie.tumblr.com

“Alright! Get together” The captain of the Karasuno High volleyball club was trying to get the everyone together to make some announcements before todays practice was over, but it was becoming almost impossible to do so. Even though most of the team was already by his side, Hinata and Kageyama were yelling at each other as usual.

“Bakeyama your tosses are too high again!”

“They are not! You are just no jumping high enough! Idiot!”

“QUIET!” Their coach screamed so loud that it made both of the boys jump and hang their heads in shame, whispering a quick apology to Ukai-Sensei.

Daichi couldn’t help the little smile that appeared on his face. He was so proud of them, they had all been through so much over the last couple of months, and it had made them grown no only as a team but as individuals too.

“Okay, now that everyone is paying attention I can finally tell you an important announcement” Daichi said, everyone was looking at him expectedly “We would be having a practice match against Nekoma high in a week” The captain flinched the moment Tanaka started to scream of excitement followed by a very hyperactive Nishinoya.

The Karasuno and Nekoma _“Battle at the Trash Dump"_ was very famous around the volleyball community and it was no secret that _the_ _crows_ had never been able to win a match against _the cats_ , even after their last battle that led to three consecutive games. The Karasuno team was hungry for revenge.

“Kenma is coming” Hinata whispered so softly that no one could hear him but Kageyama that was standing next to him. The raven boy looked at him confused “What?” He asked. “Uh? Umm nothing” Hinata said with a little laugh and quickly walked away leaving Kageyama even more confuse and upset.

The true was that Hinata had been acting strange lately, leaving practice early and not playing very well, Kageyama was starting to notice the bags under his eyes and the fact that he was looking a little pale this days , he could swear that Hinata was even getting skinnier, but there was nothing he could do. They weren’t enemies but they weren’t exactly best friend neither, they were more like friendly rivals so Kageyamafelt like he was in no position of getting involved in whatever the other boy was doing. But still he couldn’t help to feel worry about Hinata.

 

 

                                                                                        ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

“Daichi?” It was a cold night, the streets were in complete silence and the vice-captain and captain of the Karasuno volleyball team were currently walking back home after their practice. This was their routine, one that they have been following for the past three years, and it was also Sugawara’s favorite part of the day, after volleyball practice of course, but he would never a admit this at lout and let alone to Daichi.

“Umm?”

“Don’t you think Hinata has been acting a little different lately?”

“What do you mean?” Daichi asks stopping suddenly to look at the gray haired boy next to him. Sugawara had this kind of sixth sense or as Tanka like to call it; motherly instinct. He always knew when there was something wrong; he never missed anything especially when it was one of his subordinates.

“Well his eyes look different”

“His eyes?”

“Yes, like he doesn’t seem happy”

“What do you mean? Hinata is smiling and laughing all the time!”

“Yeah but, is like the happiness doesn’t reach his eyes” Sugawara said looking down at his shoes suddenly feeling very dumb, maybe he was imaging things, it was Hinata who they were talking about; the short hyperactive boy with orange hair, the same boy that got extremely excited about the smallest of things, the bait of the Karasuno High volleyball team.

 

 

                                                                                              ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

“Hello” Hinata felt instantly relax the moment he heard Kenma’s voice through the phone, this was becoming much more than a habit for him, it was almost like an addiction, something he needed to have so he didn’t went crazy.

“You are coming in a week”

“Yes, I am”

“I’m really happy that we would be able to talk, like in person I mean”

“I know” There was a small silence between the two boys, but it wasn’t awkward or anything, for Hinata it was actually quite comforting.

“How you been feeling?” This was the same question that Kenma has been asking for the past four weeks, one that sometimes he was even scared to ask. He was a quiet person, he wasn’t very expressive either, but he was very caring, and very good at reading people.

“Great!” The other boy answered almost to fast, and it didn’t went unnoticed to Kenma

"Shouyou….”

“I-I mean a been really good”

“Shouyou….”

“I mean like I been okay…”

“You know there is no point on lying to me” Kenma said, Hinata let out sigh and smile to himself. It was incredible to him how the other boy knew him so well, they didn’t saw each other often and they didn’t even lived in the same city, but it was like they had known each other forever “I know Kenma, thank you, for everything” Hinata knew that he would never be able to thank Kenma for everything he has done for him, God knows that if Kenma wouldn’t have been there for him, Hinata would probably be dead by now.

 

 

                                                                                             ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

 

When Kageyama passed running next to Hinata he was incredible surprise and upset that Hinata didn’t race him, so when the shorter boy walked into the school campus, Kageyama quickly grabbed his arm and pushed him against the nearest wall.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” The raven boy barked at the small mid blocker. Kageyama’s eyes where filled with anger, his jaw was tense and his hand a tight grip on Hinata’s arm. “What the hell is wrong with me? What the hell is wrong with you?” Hinata answered equally as angry as the tall boy in front of him. Why was Kageyama so mad at him?

“You been acting weird”

“That’s not true”

“Yes it is”

“No is not”

“Yes”

“No” Kageyama was getting more and more upset by the moment, Hinata was being absolutely ridiculous. The setter could see sweat dripping down the shorter boy forehead, his hands was starting to shake and there was fear in his eyes “What? Do you think Am stupid? I know there is something wrong, so just quit being a baby and tell me what it is!” Kageyama yelled at him so loud that it made Hinata’s legs feel weak. Suddenly his face expression changed from fear to anger. He already had enough things to deal with to add a stupid Kageyama to the list. Hinata pushed Kageyama away from him as hard as he could, his face quickly turning red.

“That is none of your business so leave me alone!”

“Of course is my business, you are playing so bad! I don’t want to lose again!” Kageyama didn’t knew why Hinata was looking so hurt and for some reason it was making his heart break.

He didn’t saw it coming, if someone would have tell him that Hinata was going to slap him across the face with such an impressive strength he would have laugh, because Hinata didn’t do that type of things, he didn’t got in physical fights, he didn’t lie to Kageyama, he just wasn’t like that.

“Fuck you!” Was the last thing Hinata said before turning on his heels and walking away from him.

Kageyama mouth was hanging as he watched the mid blocker walk in to the school with angry steps. He was speechless; Hinata has never treated it him like that before. Kageyama had a strange feeling in his chest, like something was pressing it inside of him, his mouth felt dry and it was like he could cry at any moment, he was upset and confuse. Upset at Hinata for making him worry and not telling him what is going on, and confused because he didn’t understand why he was feeling this way, he had never felt like this in his entire life before, what was wrong with him?

 

                                                                                         //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

The clock on Hinata’s phone read 3:47 am, he was supposed to wake up in an hour but hadn’t been able to sleep more than one minute, and he couldn’t stop thinking about his fight with Kageyama. **He doesn’t care about you Hinata, he hasn’t change, he only cares about himself he only wants to win, and when he finds out the true he is going to get rid of you, get rid of what is useless.** Hinata could feel tear running down his cheeks, he was so upset and tired, he just want it to sleep and forget about the rest of the world but he couldn’t, and his medication wasn’t helping either, actually these days his medication was doing anything but help. Hinata was so mad with himself, he had been doing so well, felling so good, but now he felt that he was back to the beginning, and this time it felt worse, so much worse.

 

 

                                                                                                               //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

 

“HINATA! BAKA! I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!!” Tsukishima yell at the poor boy who was currently vomiting on the gym floor “Tsukishima, come on, don’t be so hard on the boy” Asahi said to the blond that was looking at the mid blocker on his knees disgusted “Oi, Hinata are you alright?” Tanaka asks with a concerned look on his face.

Hinata breath heavily and wiped his mouth with the back on his hand, he felt so embarrassed “Yeah, I’m really sorry” The orange head boy could feel the tears filling his eyes but he did his best to swallow them, he wasn’t about to do this in front of his team mates “It’s fine Hinata, no one is blaming you” Sugawara assured him while rubbing his back “Maybe you should go with the nurse and lay back for a while” Hinata didn’t want to leave practice, but he was feeling sick, and he really needed to be alone so he could cry in peace “Thank you Senpai” He said while standing up slowly and walking out of the gym, leaving a very concerned team behind .

 

 

                                                                                                                             /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

 

Kageyama rubbed his nose after the hard ball hit him “Kageyama what’s wrong?” Daichi approached him while Tsukishima was yelling names at him “Sumimasen, it won’t happened again” Kageyama quickly bowed down to his Senpai and captain, trying to ignore the annoying Tsukishima that was making fun him.

He was really upset at himself for being so distracted but he couldn’t stop thinking about Hinata, they hadn’t exchange more than 2 words since yesterday morning and he felt awful. He kept replaying their fight in his head over and over, he couldn’t even sleep the night before thinking about it, he still didn’t understand what he had done to make Hinata so upset, and to make it worse the strange feeling in his chest was still there and it was driving him crazy!, he just didn’t knew what to do, he was scared that if he tried to talk to Hinata the boy was just going to tell him to fuck off again and everything was just going to get even more complicated.

 

                                                                                                                                 /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

 

Hinata didn’t went to the nurse room, instead he went to the bathrooms on the third floor, no one went there for some reason, he knew this because of all the time he has been spending there recently. He locked himself in the last cabin and sat down on the toilet bringing his knees to his chest holding them tightly while biting his shirt, he finally let go. He cried and cried until he felt like he had no more tears left and the crying became dry sobs. 

_Why was this happening to him? Why was he so fucked up in the head? Why was he so broken?_

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

 

The next day Daichi was watching Hinata very carefully, he didn’t want it to miss any movement, any expression on the Youngers boy face. After what Suga said to him and yesterday events he start it to get worry too.

Hinata was indeed looking different; there were huge bags under his eyes it was like he hasn’t sleep for days, his moments weren’t as fast as usual and Daichi could see that he was struggling to jump a little bit, he could also see that Hinata wasn’t concentrating in playing, it was like he was physically there but mentally he was in another world.

Daichi stood up from the bench he was sitting on and quickly walk to their couch that was currently jelling at Tanaka for being too loud.

“Ukai-Sensei”

“Yes Daichi, what is it?”

“I want it to talk to you about Hinata” The expression on Ukai’s face changed and suddenly became more serious; he nodded and turns to Daichi making a gesture to follow him outside the gym.

“So you noticed too” The older man said once they were far away enough from the rest of the team. “Yes” Daichi watched carefully as Ukai took a packet of cigarettes out of his pocket.

“I don’t know what is going on. At first I thought that it was nothing and that he was going to go back to normal any time but it’s been three weeks and its like it has gotten worse” Ukai said while taking a big drag from his cigarette.

“Well maybe we should talk to his family”

“Yeah, I think that would be the best” The captain nodded and quickly excused himself, not wanting to be around the smoke of the cigarette anymore.

 

 

                                                                                                                    ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

“Oi! Don’t eat all the buns” Daichi said while hitting Tanka in the head. It was the last practice of the weak and their couch had invited all the team to get some food.

Everyone was having fun except for Kageyama who was looking at Hinata talking to Nishinoya. He was so focused on the mid blocker that didn’t notice Tanka calling his name or Tsukishima laughing at him. The sound of a phone ringing made everyone go instantly quit, Hinata pulled out his cellphone out of his pocket and his eyes immediately light up “I-I have to go, I’m sorry” Hinata said quickly before turning around and leaving the store.

It took Kageyama a couple of seconds to react, and before he knew what he was doing, his feet where already moving on their own and he was following Hinata ignoring everyone behind him.

 

 

//////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

 

Kageyama mentally slap himself for forgetting his jacket at home, it was a really cold night and he could only pray that he wouldn’t catch a cold. He spotted Hinata leaning against a wall not too far away from him, the other boy was so absorb on his conversation on the phone that he didn’t notice Kageyama hiding around the corner. The taller boy couldn’t understand much of what Hinata was saying, something about next week, practice game, ice cream, a cat “Yes, I can’t wait to see you Kenma” Kageyama caught that perfectly and for some reason it made his blood boil, like fire running through his veins.

_Why was Hinata talking to Kenma? Since when they were friends? And why was this making Kageyama so angry?_


	2. chap 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here it is! chapter number two! hope you enjoy it.   
> thank you so much for reading and for the people that had send me messages on tumblr!

 

On Monday morning Kageyama was basically in zombie mode, he had spent the entire weekend thinking and dreaming about Hinata. The feeling in his chest was slowly spreading to his stomach too, and every time he closed his eyes images of Hinata with Kenma appeared on his head making him wake up cover in sweat, his heart pounding hard against his chest and with an intense feeling of wanting to kill someone with his bare hands.

Kageyama thought about calling Hinata many times, but every time he tried to he would chicken out at the last minute and hang up. He knew that he was being absolutely stupid, it was just Hinata, there was no reason for him to be so nervous about it, is not like they had never been in a situation like this before they were constantly fighting every day, but this time it felt different; this time Hinata was mad, really mad like he had never seen him before, and he was so scared, scared of the way things were going to turn out, this time he had no idea on how to handle anything.

Kageyama was so caught up on his thoughts that he didn’t heard his mom calling his name until he felt his dad slapping the back of his head with a newspaper, making him spill the milk of the cereal that he was eating all over himself.

“Oi!”

“Sorry son, but you weren’t listening to us” his father said with a little laugh.

His father, Kageyama Akio, was a tall man with gray hair and blue eyes. His mother, Kageyama Yuri, a tall woman with black hair and blue eyes. Both of them were successful lawyers and owners of the best firm of Osaki.

“Is everything okay Tobio?” his mother asked while sitting next to him, a concern look on her face.

“Yes, everything is alright”

“School is going good?” his father said arching one eyebrow at him.

“Yes, dad”

“Volleyball?”

“Yes, mom”

“Love?”

“Yes da- wait what?” Kageyama was a bit shocked about what his father just said, **love? What is that supposed to mean?**

“Yes Tobio, love” Akio couldn’t help to giggle a little at his son expression.

“Is there any girl that you like?” his mother asked, giving him a playful push.

“No”

“Well, then is there any boy that you like?”  Once again his father made Kageyama to almost choke on his food.

“A-a boy?” for some reason that question made him extremely nervous, his hands were starting to sweat and he could feel his heart against his throat.

“Would that really be okay?” Kageyama asked, his parent were looking at him with loving eyes and warm smiles, both of them placed a hand on each of his shoulders making him feel save.

“Of course it would be okay, you father and I love you very much and nothing is ever going to change that”

 

                                                                                                                   /////////////////////////////////// 

 

After falling sleep in math class and taking a little nap during lunch time, Hinata didn’t felt any better, but it was time for volleyball practice and Kenma arrived today so he was definitely feeling exited… but all that excitement disappeared at the moment he walked into the club room to find Kageyama in there. Both of the boys stood there in complete silence looking at each other with uncomfortable expressions. It was awkward, too awkward.

“I-I uhh” “Kageyama I-I” they let out a small laugh; none of them knew really what to do or say.

“You first” Hinata said, looking down while playing with the hem of his shirt.

“I’m sorry, Hinata, I didn’t meant what I said, I was just mad, and I-I am really sorry” Kageyama said bowing a little and speaking so fast Hinata could barely catch up, but he understood what his friend had said. He gave him a big smile and nodded.

“No problem”

 

  

 

                                                                                                       ////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

“Where are you going?” Kuroo asked Kenma when he saw the small boy at the door grabbing his jacket. The Nekoma high volleyball team had just arrived to Osaki, and where currently exploring the place where they would be staying for the week until their match against Karasuno on Friday.

“Out” The other boy simply answered with a boring tone on his voice and a poker face expression. Kuroo knew Kenma too well to push him, if he kept asking questions Kenma was just going to get upset, so he just pretended he didn’t care.

“Okay, don’t come back too late, and call me if you get lost” Kenma nodded and with one last look at his friend he was out the door. Kuroo, who was very overprotective of his childhood friend, was also a very curious person so he didn’t hesitate once to grab his jacket and follow Kenma to find out where he was going.

 

 

                                                                                                        ////////////////////////////////////////////// 

 

Kageyama was walking down the street towards his house when he spotted Hinata on his bike. The mid blocker had changed from his training clothes to a pair of blue jeans and white shirt, **how the hell did he went to his house and changed so quickly?** , but the most important question on Kageyama’s mind was _, where was he going with such a hurry?_ Kageyama knew it was wrong, it was not okay to spy on people, but he was way too curious and maybe following Hinata would give him a clue on what was going on, although it was really difficult to follow his steps when Hinata was on his bike and all Kageyama had where his legs, he was starting to think about giving up until the other boy stopped in front of an ice cream store.

Kageyama was hiding behind some bushes trying to find a window where he could have a better look, until he felt someone’s breath on his neck.

“What the heck are you doing?” Kageyama screamed so loud he was sure the entire town heard him; Tanaka was standing right behind him trying to contain his laugh.

“Tanaka-Senpai, I-I was just umm…”

“Are you following someone?” Kageyama looked down in embarrassment, what was him supposed to say? He knew Tanaka wasn’t going to leave him alone, so he didn’t have many options.

“Hinata”

“You are following Hinata?” Kageyama stood silent, he was so embarrassed to be caught in a situation like this, and he was sure Tanka was going to scream at him.

“Alright, I’ll go with you”

“w-what?”

“You can’t do this alone! And I’m your Senpai so I’m here to protect you!” Kageyama quickly bowed down to Tanka.

“Thank you Tanka-Senpai” the older boy let out a big laugh and crossed his arms.

“Said again”

“TANAKA-SENPAI”

“One more time”

“TANAKA-SENPAI”

 

 

                                                                                                              ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

Hinata was hugging Kenma so tightly, that for a moment the Tokyo boy thought he was going to die, although he would be lying if he said he wasn’t happy to see the small mid blocker. Hinata had a very different trust on Kenma that the one he had with his team mates. On the court they trusted him with every move, and play, and of course his tosses, but Hinata trusted Kenma with his life, secrets and fears, and he really appreciated that.

“Shouyo you can let me go now”  
“Uh sorry” Hinata said with a little blush on his face. After choosing their ice cream they sat down on one of the tables that were near the window. Kenma was biting his lips while staring at Hinata with pain in his eyes, the younger boy was so skinny, the bags under his eyes made him look so sick, it reminded him of his, now dead grandfather, who battled with cancer for two years, Hinata looked just like him…  
“You look terrible”   
“I know”  
“Your mother is a nurse, I know she can’t change your medication but there has to be something she can do”  
“She tries to give me a lot of vitamins but I don’t think they help very much, this is the first time that we are dealing with something like this, I had never taken such a strong medication before”  
Kenma felt so bad for Hinata, he knew that depression was a really difficult thing, his mother was a psychologist after all, this is how Kenma find out about Hinata’s problems with depression. He was visiting his mother at the hospital she worked at and casually run into the small red haired boy, he immediately recognized the antidepressant on his hand and the younger was a terrible liar so he told him everything. That was a month and a half ago and they hadn’t seen each other since then although they were going to meet next month when Hinata made his trip to Tokyo to pick up his medicine but they were lucky that their schools decided to have a practice match before that.  
Kenma wasn’t a very affectionate person, but he still took Hinata’s hand and gave it a little squeeze, he was his friend and he cared for him more than anyone could have expected, so he was going to be there for him and support him in everything he could.

 

                                                                                                               //////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

“I can’t see anything from here!” Kageyama and Tanaka where struggling to spy on Hinata since the mid blocker was inside the store.   
“Look there is a window! Let’s move up there” tanaka grabbed the other boy by the arm and dragged him across the street, they were now crawling on the floor arguing because tanaka was being too loud when Kageyama hit his head with something hard, at first he thought it was a pole or a wall but when he looked up he found a pair of narrowed eyes and cat-like pupils looking right at him. Even though they had only seen each other once before he recognized him immediately, Kageyama never forgets the face of a rival, especially one of the strongest like Kuroo Tetsurou was. The captain of the Nekoma high volleyball team.

“YOU!” both of the boys said pointing at each other.   
“What are you doing here?”  
“I live here!”  
“On the ice cream store?”  
“Don’t be silly, what are you doing here?”  
“I’m following Kenma”   
“So… They are together” Kageyama whispered softly.  
“Who?”  
“Kenma and Hinata” there was a moment of silence before the three boys rushed to the window bumping into each other, trying to see what was happening inside.

Their friends were sitting on a table close to the window, speaking softly. Kageyama felt like he was about to get caught on fire, but what happened next send him over the edge; Kenma took Hinata’s hand and gave the young boy a smile. Kageyama felt a strong pain in his chest and a feeling in his stomach like he was going to be sick.

 

 

                                                                                                              //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

Kenma took off his coat and put it in the rack next to the door alongside his shoes. After him and Hinata eat their ice cream they went to a small playground and just sat down at swings and talk for hours, Hinata cried so much it almost made Kenma want to cry too, the mid blocker was just so worried; about failing school, being a problem for his mother and his team. Kenma felt so heartbroken because there was nothing he could do to fix those things, only support him and listen to him when it was needed.

Kenma was so absorb on his thoughts he didn’t notice Kuroo leaning against the wall looking at him.   
“You are late”  
“I got lost” he simply said and walked right by him without saying another word. Kuroo felt hurt more than upset, they had known each other for so many years, they were best friends and Kenma had never hided anything from him before. And just because they had never been in a situation like this before he didn’t know how to approach him.

 

 

                                                                                                          //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

“Kageyama, are you okay?” Tanaka and Kageyama were currently walking back home after spying on Hinata, and the older boy was worry for the setter. The raven haired one was looking upset like he had never seen him before.   
“Tanka-senpai what’s wrong with me? I been having this strange feeling in my chest like butterfly’s every time I look at Hinata, but right now I feel nothing but pain and fire running through my veins” Kageyama spoke so fast Tanaka had to pay extra attention to understand what he was saying, but he knew exactly was he was talking about, because he had felt like this many times before.   
“Kageyama, are you gay?” the youngest boy looked at his senpai with a mix of horror and shock in his eyes. He had never thought about that, actually he had never dated anyone or liked anyone in a romantic way; and even if the idea scared him a little bit he felt relief because he wasn’t crazy, there was an explanation for this feelings even if it was something that he didn’t understood very much.  
“Do you think I like Hinata?”  
“Yes, I do.”

 

 

                                                                                                      //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

 

Daichi, Sugawara, Ukai-sensei and Takeda-sensei were currently sitting across Hinata and his mom at the consoler office. Hinata Tamiko was a short woman, with delicate features and very similar to her son except for her eyes that were black just like her hair.  
Hinata was looking really nervous, it reminded Daichi of their first practice game, where Hinata was so scared that it even made him sick.  
“Hinata, do you know why you are here?” Daichi asked, Hinata nodded looking down at his hands.   
“You are going to kick me out of the team because I haven’t been playing good, I am so sorry Daichi-senpai, I-I promise I’m going to get better but please don’t kick me out” this time Hinata was standing up, there were tears on his eyes, he was looking so scared.  
“No, no Hinata we are not going to kick you out, we just want to know what´s wrong” Sugawara said quickly trying to calm him down. Hinata looked at his mother with doubt on his eyes but she just smiled at him making him feel calm. Hinata took a deep breath and nodded sitting back down.

_He could trust them; they were going to help him._

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta credits goes to my lovely Parabatai: thelightwoodfamily.tumblr.com  
> My tumblr: suchasadbeautifullie.tumblr.com
> 
> P.S English is not my first lenguage, so any mistake i made please let me know


	3. chap 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so chapter 3 is up a little bit earlier this week! thank so much fot the support and before you read this chapter, there is something very important that i need you to know.
> 
> So Haikyuu is set in Miyagi Prefecture, but it does not say where exactly, so i decided to do it in Osaki wich is par of the Miyagi Prefecture. Just wanted you to know this because is going to be important later on!  
> ENJOY!

Hinata never liked to celebrate father’s day; He didn’t have a loving and caring dad like the rest of the kids in his classroom, so every time they had to do a gift in class for this special day he just simply walked away from class, that earned him a lot of detention and it even took away some point from his final notes, but he didn’t care. His father was an alcoholic that treated him and his mother like shit and didn’t even care for his children’s at all. So when Hinata was 9 and Natsu had just being born, his father decided to leave them for another woman. 

He thought he was going to feel relieve but all he felt was sadness, he knew that he had been the reason for his father to marry his mom, he was an accident after all, he was actually surprised that his father had stayed around for so long. 

_That’s why he left; because he didn’t love him, because Hinata just wasn’t good enough._

And all those experiences and traumas only left Hinata full of pain and insecurities that eventually lead to him to his depression.

  
Normally he had it under control, and for him it was still strange how someone could be depress for so long, he thought t it was something that you only had for a period of time and then it was gone, but no, it turns out that you can suffer from it you entire life. That was the principal reason why he had to take antidepressants every day and visit a therapist every two months. 

Hinata had good days and bad days, most of the time they were good, but lately he had been feeling so bad, almost as bad as before he started to take any medication, so his doctor decided to send him a stronger dosis of antidepressants and his body was having a hard time adjusting to it.

But you could have never know any of those things or even imagine that someone like Hinata had a problem like this.

  
And now the young boy was holding his breath, looking at his senpais  and teachers with nervousness, he had just told them everything and they still hadn’t said a word to him, Hinata was trying to read the expression on their faces; Sugawara eyes where full of pity and Daichi was just looking upset, as if someone had just kicked his puppy right in front of him. His coach and takeda-sensei where a bit harder to read, their faces remained calm but their uncomfortable pose gave them away a little.  


The room was in complete silence, no one was really sure of what to say. Hinata turned his head slowly to his mother, who had been holding his hand the entire time, he looked at her almost expecting that she would give him and indication on what to do next but all she did was smile at him, it was a smile full of pride and love and it made him feel so  _warm and calm_. Suddenly Hinata felt a pair of strong arms around his body and when he turned around he found Sugawara next to him with a small smile on his face, Before Hinata could even process what was happening, his captain, coach and teacher were already by his side. He felt confused because this wasn’t the type of reaction that he was expecting, in fact he wasn’t even sure what to expect because he had never told anyone (besides Kenma) outside of his family about this, so he definitely wasn’t expecting such a great support from all. 

“We are here for you, Hinata” Daichi said putting a hand on Hinata’s shoulder, when the mid blocker looked up he saw the rest of the men’s in the room smiling at him.

And he felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

                                                                 //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

 

  
After Kageyama spoke to Tanaka about the possibility of him liking Hinata, the raven boy has found himself looking a lot more at his friend, he has even started to notice thing that he had never noticed before, things that were so small he was certainly sure no one else had noticed but himself.  Like the little wrinkle on the right side of his lips that appears every time he smile, or the way his body seems to instantly relax every time he is next to the court, or the fact that he always wait until he has finish his food to start with his drink, or that his favorite flavor (for everything it seems) was strawberry, he also noticed that he wanted to know even more things about Hinata, things that he would never really care to know about anyone else; like his favorite band, what type of ramen did he liked, does he put milk or cereal first.  


 

Kageyama was even starting to enjoy the feeling in his chest and stomach now that he knew what they were. He wasn’t really worry about the idea of him being gay,

he knew his parents where going to support him and he had never really care much about what other people thought about him, so as long no one started to mess up with him he didn’t care. However he was worry about what was going to happen Hinata; how was he going to react? Was Hinata even gay? And if he was, was he dating Kenma? This last question was making Kageyama so upset, like hot burning flames where running through his body, he had never experimented jealousy in such level before, and he was sure that if he had Kenma in front of him at this very moment he wouldn't hesitate to strangle the blond setter.

“Kageyama are you okay? You look upset” the girl that sat next to him (which he never remembers her name) said dragging him away from his thoughts and bringing him back to earth.   
“Uh I’m fine”  
“Are you sure? Do you need another pencil?”  
“What?” Kageyama looked down at his hand and surprised when he found his pencil crack in half. He had gotten so upset with just thinking about Kenma that he had even broke his pencil with his hand. **If I continue like this, Kenma is going to kill me first from a heart attack before I get to kill him.**

****

****

 

**/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////**

 

 

“Where are you going?” Kuroo asked when he found Kenma at the door with his handbag on his shoulder and sipping on his jacket.  
“Out” the setter simply answered,  **this situation feels oddly familiar.** Kuroo tough.  
“You are spending the night out?”  
“Yeah, I have some family here so I’m spending the night with them” Kuroo frown, as far as he knows Kenma family is all from Tokyo and the only family that he had away where in America.   
“Don’t worry I will be on practice tomorrow morning” and without another word he was gone. Kuroo took out his phone and quickly send a text message.

  
_ Kuroo: I think Kenma is spending the night at Hinata’s house. _ __  


_ Send at 6:05 _

Him and Kageyama had been talking a lot to each other since the spying incident and he was even in a group in  _WHATSAPP_  with tanaka too, it was called   _ninjas of gay island_ (name given by Tanka) and is not like they had become friends, because the only thing they talked about were their friends and the possibility of them having a relationship, but none of them admitted it was nice to have someone to talk about this situation, he knew that it will be a complete disaster if he told this little issue to anyone on the team.

  
_ Kageyama: Thank you for informing us.  _ _ Read at 6:08 _  


_ Tanaka: Understood, the cat and the crow are fornicating tonight.  _

_ Read at 6:08 _

  
_ Kageyama: DON’T SAY THINGS LIKE THAT! _ __  


_ Read at 6:10 _

  
_ Tanaka: Oh well excuse me, what do you think they are doing? PLAYING CHESS?!!!!! _ __  


_ Read at 6:11 _

__

__

__

_                                                                        ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// _

“ _Checkmate”_

“WHAT?!” Hinata stood up from the floor so quickly that he hit his right knee with the small coffee table, nocking some of the pieces from the chess to the floor.   Him and Kenma had play a total of three times and he had lost in all of them, actually he had lost against Kenma on every single thing they had played that night;  _Mario kart, Call of duty, FIFA.  
_ He didn’t even know why he had all this video games when he was so bad at them! But he was knucklehead and refused to give up until he had defeated Kenma at least once.

Kenma just sat there looking at his small friend getting all worked up because of a simple board game, he even thought it was funny and it reminded him a lot of the way Hinata got when he was in a very intense volleyball game, and he had to admit that watching him like that was making him more and more excited about Friday's match.

The boys where now taking a break, eating pizza and talking about whatever came to their minds. Hinata was really enjoying himself, it has been a while since the last time he had a friend over for the night and he had forgot how funny it was.   
“So” Kenma said while still chewing on his Hawaiian pizza “When are you going to tell Kageyama?” Hinata stood still for a moment looking at his friend.   
“Why should I tell him?”  
“Well he is your closest friend, and you told me that he has already been suspecting something, so I think you better tell him before he figures it out himself” this was very hard thing for Hinata, he knew that what Kenma was saying was true but he was just scared of what was going to happened after Kageyama found out; _Was he going to treat him different? Would they still be friends? Would he keep tossing for him?_

“Can we talk about something else? Hinata said reaching his hand for another slice of pizza only to find the box empty.  
“Mm there is something that I want to do” Kenma said with a very strange expression on his face, a mixture between a suspicious look on his eyes and a devil smirk.

 

"STOP! I DON’T LIKE IT”  
“Well if you don’t stay still I’m not going to be able to finish and is going to take longer!”  
“OUCH! YOU JUST BURN ME!”  
“IT’S NOT MY FAULT!”  
“PUT THAT STRAIGHTENER DOWN!”  
“But I’m not done yet!!”  
“I DON’T CARE!! LOOK THERE IS A MARK ON MY NECK!!!”  
“It looks like a hickey”  
“UGH! KENMA!”

                                                                                              /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

 

“THERE IS THE PROOF!” Tanka jumped in front of Kageyama who was sitting on a bench outside the school, making the younger boy spill his juice all over himself. It was still ten minutes for the bell to ring but both of the boys had arrived earlier wanting to see if Hinata was going to arrive with Kenma, at the end the small mid blocker arrived by himself, but; With messy hair (messier than usual) and a strange red mark on the left side of his neck. 

  
“That’s a hickey for sure” Tanaka said.  
Kageyama felt that he was about to turn into  _Hulk._ He hadn’t sleep at all the night before thinking that Hinata and that  _emo cat_  (The new nickname Tanaka had for Kenma) were spending the night together, doing god knows what. The idea of another man holding Hinata, kissing him or just being alone with him was enough to awake Kageyama’s murder instinct and he wasn’t sure for how  long he was going to be able to keep it under control but Tanaka was definitely no helping him with that.  
“Hmm he looks tired, but he also looks happy, I think he is walking funny too”  
“OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!” Kageyama said standing up and grabbing his back pack, throwing his box of juice on the floor and walking towards the school doors, looking like scary gigantic monster, something that Tanaka found really funny.

  
“What’s up with him” the wing spiker turn around to find Nishinoya next to him looking at Kageyama confused.   
“If I tell you, you promise not to tell anyone?” the small libero nodded quickly and put his right hand on his chest, where his heart was.  
“I Promise!”

 

 

                                                                                //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

 

 

Hinata could feel everyone staring at him while walking down the corridors; people pointing at him and whispering.

**Damn you Kenma.**

But the worst stare of them all was in the biology a class he shared with Kageyama and they even sat next to each other, so he could feel his friends stare burning holes into his skull, he was sure that if looks could kill he would be dead by now.

  
“So for this month assignment you would be giving a project that you would be doing in partners, and no, you can’t choose them, I will do that” there were a lot of complains and sound of disappointment around the class   but the teacher just ignored them and start putting together the partners.  
“Hinata Shouyo and Kageyama Tobio” Kageyama felt so stupid for reacting this way, _What was he? A little school girl with a crush?!_  But the idea of him and Hinata spending time together outside the school, _alone,_  was the best thing that had has happened to him in weeks!

**Calm down Tobio; don’t let him see you like this.**

 Kageyama cleared his throat and turned to Hinata.  
“Hey um I think we should start with the project soon”  
“Umm yes! You can come over to my house next week if you want” the small boy said giving Kageyama huge smile making the setter’s heart skip a beat.

 

 

 

 

                                                                                                          ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

 

Before they knew it, Friday had arrived and it was time for  _battle of the trash_  match.

  
“YAMAMOTO!”  
“TANAKA!” Both of the boys said with tears in their eyes while running into each other just to end in a long big hug.  
“These two” Daichi said while shaking hands with Kuroo, who was also having a hard time containing his laugh.   
“So embarrassing” Tsukishima said.   
“WE WONT LOOSE!” Tanka said, while still holding Yamamoto to his chest.   
“YEAH! WELL WE WON’T ETHEIR!”

And while some of them were having an emotional reunion, Kageyama was too busy planning which will be the best way of murdering Kenma on his sleep. The Nekoma player was talking with Hinata on the side of the court and it was taking all of Kageyama's self-control not to go there and break the blond setter arm.

The first set was won by Karasuno, but hey lost the other two, and Kageyama didn’t miss any opportunity to be extra aggressive every time Kenma was in front of him. Then they played two more games (Hinata’s request) and they lost again, although it was a surprise to a lot of them when Hinata didn’t ask for another game, but the poor boy was just too tired for that.

__

_ And so then once again the crows were defeated by the cats  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr: suchasadbeautifullie.tumblr.com
> 
> Beta credits goes to my amazing Parabatai : thelightwoodfamily.tumblr.com
> 
> P.S english is not my first language, so any mistake please let me know. :)


	4. chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for taking so long! My mom have been delicate of health this past couple of weeks , so we have been all worry about that and i caught a cold last week, so i have been emotionally and physically tired . but now i'm ready to get back UP! so here it is chapter 4! i know is a little bit shorter than usual so i'm sorry about that, 
> 
> ENJOY!!

"Alright the operation 'Get in Hinata’s pants' officially starts!"

"That's not..."

"Kageyama be quiet! You need to be more respectful towards your Senpais" 

The raven haired boy, with his cheeks flushed, wanted nothing more but the earth to swallow him. 

Tanaka had told Nishinoya everything about what was going on with Hinata and somehow they had decided (without Kageyama) to start a plan to get the two first years together. So now they were sitting in the club room thanks to Tanaka, who had offered himself to close the gym after the practice. 

It was safe to say that Kageyama was more than embarrassed with the situation, he still hadn't figure out exactly what he felt for his small friend and because he had always been a reserved person, it was all a little overwhelming, anyway, he was thankful for his Senpai's support.

"So, what do we know?" Noya said walking toward de white board on the room. 

"Oh oh!" Tanaka said raising his arm up in the air like a little kid.

"Yes Ryū" the libero said taking off the cap of the market and pointing at his friend.

"Hinata is with that Kenma guy” Noya nodded and started writhing on the board.  
“Wait! we still we don't know that!" Kageyama piped.   
“Well okay, that’s true, so we are just going to consider it as a possibility” Noya said smiling at the young boy in front of him. 

  
The next half hour consisted on the little boy writing facts on the board, asking some intimate questions to the embarrassed setter and Tanaka making jokes at Kageyama. 

  
“Alright, so we could make a plan according to everything we know until now, think about ideas and we'll talk about them next week” said the libero; the other boys nodded and quickly gathered their stuff so they could leave. But when Tanaka and Kageyama where at the door Noya  called them.   
“Umm guys, I don’t want to worry you but this is permanent marker” for a moment Kageyama felt like this was god punishing him for doing this kind of things behind Hinata’s back. 

They spend another half hour trying to clean the board and failing miserably until Kageyama realized that they only thing they had to do was paint on top of the permanent marker with the white board one. After finally cleaning the mess and closing the room Nishinoya invited Kageyama for an ice cream as an apology for the incident.

 

 

                                                                                                  ////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

 

 

“Oh not again!” it was Thursday and the team was doing morning practice when suddenly Hinata started throwing up on the side of the court, Suga and Daichi quickly rushed to his side followed by the coach. The poor kid was looking really bad, all color had faded from his face and his hands were trembling. ** _Why? why this again?_**

****

“Honestly, is a pain having to clean the court because of you! Hinata you are the reason why we have to stop practicing so much, If you keep going like this we'll miss every match!” tsukishima said. 

Hinata knew that he was a honest guy and he also knew that everything he was saying was true, but it was only making him feel worse. Daichi noticed the expression in the small boy, but before he could say anything to Tsukishima Kageyama was already a step ahead.

  
“SHUT THE FUCK UP! Stop being so insensible! Don’t you see he's not well? Stop thinking only about yourself for a second Tsukishima!” the gym stood in complete silence, everyone was in shock. They had never seen Kageyama so upset before. 

The moment Hinata saw him he felt his heart skip a beat, there was a strange warm feeling in his stomach but it was not an unpleasant one. Without even noticing he was smiling, it wasn’t a big smile but a real one.

 

  
“Hinata, how are you feeling?” Suga inquired, a second passed before Hinata forced himself to tear his eyes away from Kageyama to look at his senpai, another hint of guilt hit him when he saw suga’s eyes full of concern.  


 

**Will i ever stop being a problem for other people?**

“I feel a little weak” he confessed with raspy voice. His throat was burning, he could still feel the awful taste on his mouth and it was enough to make his stomach feel nooses.

  
“Let’s take you to the nursery” Daichi said while passing one of Hinata’s arms around his shoulder, Suga doing the same.  
The captain and Ukai Sensei exchanged one last look before leaving the gym.

The team stood in silence watching their friends leaving the court scared of saying anything that will make Kageyama even more upset.

 

“Alright! back to work”

                                                                                                     ////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

 

 

After making sure Hinata was fine the school nurse gave him medicine for his stomach, told him to drink lots of water and to lay down for a bit. Now he was with Daichi and Suga. The captain told him that he didn’t had to worry because his brother was going to drive them home. 

  
“Hinata, we've been thinking that maybe it would be better if you tell the rest of the team about what's going on...” Daichi immediately regret saying those words the moment he looked at the small boy's face. Fear and doubt painted in his expression.  
“This is your decision, of course, no one is going to force you” Sugawara said rubbing Hinata’s back making him feel a little more comfortable.

He had thought about this too, and he knew that eventually he was going to tell them, probably because the symptoms where just going to start getting too obvious, but he was trying to delay that as much as possible. Is not that he feared their reaction, he was just worried about how they were going to start treating him. He didn’t want to be taken as a weak person because of it; he didn’t want to be treated delicate. He didn’t need any special treatment, he just want his team mates to keep treating him the same way it has always been.

The rest of the practice Hinata spend it on the nurse office, and it wasn’t until it was over (which took longer than he expected) that Daichi came to pick him up, they waited outside of the gym with Suga for the captain's brother, Hinata was actually very surprised with the fact that he was a very nice guy, and very funny too.

 

 

 

When they reached his house , Daichi and Sugawara stayed for a little while talking to his mom, probably about him ( _definitely about him)_ but Hinata was too tired to even stay in the living room to listen to the conversation, so he excused himself and quickly went up to his room, the moment he walked through the door he just dropped himself on the bed, he was so tired, he didn’t even cared about dinner or changing his clothes, his only desire was to sleep, just when his eyelids where starting to feel too heavy a sudden noise woke him up. At first he was a little lost, he knew that he had heard that sound before. 

_RIN!RIN!RIN!_

But he couldn’t find its source, it wasn’t until he felt something hitting the floor that he realized where was his phone, he quickly picked it up and answered not even bothering to check the ID.

 

“Hello?” He whined closing his eyes once again.   
“Hey Hinata” the small mid blocker felt like he had to pinch himself just to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. He recognized that voice perfectly, he hear it every day, although now it sounded a little different but it still was Kageyama’s voice. 

Hinata was surprised and confused, the raven boy had never call him before, they texted it each other sometimes, asking about homework or training but that was it. 

  
“Uh mm, hello Kageyama”

“Hey I hope you're okay now, you left all of sudden... I was just wondering if it was okay if i go to your house tomorrow for the project. You know, since you been sick and all” the setter stuttered.

“O-oh, yes of course you can come!”

“Okay, well then, see you tomorrow”

“Yeah! See you”

“Good night”

“Bye”

 

For a moment Hinata thought that he was going to throw up again because of the strange feeling on his stomach, but instead of feeling uncomfortable, he felt a warm and funny tickle on his belly.

 

 

                                                                                                        ////////////////////////////////////////////

 

 

 

Kageyama was running out of patience  while waiting for Hinata to get ready so they could leave to the small player house. 

They had agreed to meet in front of the gym at four o’clock but Hinata was already fifteen minutes late. 

Kageyama was so nervous about being dumped; he was about to call him when he heard his name been shouted, he turned around only to see a small red head running towards him.

  
“Kageyama, I'm sorry, the coach said he needed to talk to me” the poor boy said almost running out of breath.  
“it’s alright, let’s go”

 

 

 

"The walk to Hinata’s house was incredibly long and exhausting, Kageyama had to give mid blocker some credit for doing this every day. 

After one hour of awkward silence they finally reached Hinata’s house. His mom wasn’t home and his little sister was spending the night at his grandmothers, so the two teenagers where alone and that was making Kageyama even more nervous if it was possible. 

  
“Make yourself at home” Hinata said the moment they entered his room.

"Excuse the intrusion..." He whispered entering the boy's room. 

  
Kageyama had never been at Hinata's house before and he was really surprised  to find that his room was surprisingly clean and well organized. 

There was a big cork board next to his desk with some pictures, most of them of his mother and sister, there was a picture of the day they first meet, Hinata wearing his green uniform along with his old team mates and next to that one a picture of the entire Karasuno team, he remembered when they took that picture; it was the day their uniforms arrived. 

There were some shelves with books and manga books, next to his bed was a night stand with a CD player and some volleyball balls where piled up on a basket on the floor, but what really caught Kageyama’s attention was the big poster hanging on the wall next to the window; there were four mans on it, probably around their twenties, there where instruments around them and they were all spotting a firm expression while looking straight at the camera.

 

“Who are they?” Kageyama said pointing a the poster in front of him.  
“Uh? Oh One Ok Rock”   
“What?” Kageyama said looking even more confused, Hinata giggled making the other boys heart skip a beat.

“They're a rock band, actually, they're my favorite band” Kageyama nodded not knowing what to say, he wasn’t very into music... the only music he has listened to was the one his parents played on the house, which was mainly old movie songs.

“Here” Hinata said landing him a clear case with a white background and a strange drawing on it. “This is my favorite album, listen to it when you get home and then tell me what you think” Hinata's hands touched theirs, making Kageyama’s heart to pound hard against his chest, his face a little flustered, not only because he was on his crush room but he was holding something that was clearly very precious to him. Kageyama nodded and quickly (but very carefully) put the CD on his bag taking a mental note to remember to ask his father for the cd player as soon as he gets home.

  
“So let’s start” 

The next couple hours passed really fast, they didn’t had much time to talk because of all the work they had to do but when Hinata’s mom arrived with some pizza for them, they decided to leave it and continue next week. 

Hinata’s mom was incredibly kind and calm, total opposite to her son and she even offered to drop Kageyama at his house after dinner. So just when they were all about to leave (including Hinata)  Kageyama remembered that he left his pencil case at Hinata’s room.

He didn’t saw it on the desk or the bed so he just tough about searching under the bed, his hand quickly found a strange object, it felt like a little bottle, Kageyama looked at it confused; it looked like those bottles that comes as prescriptions medicines, there was a tag on it with Hinata’s name and the word antidepressant write on it. 

So many thoughts and questions where running through Kageyama’s head, he knew what antidepressant where for, but he just didn’t understand why Hinata had them. 

He could feel his heart breaking, pain like he had never felt before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Massive thank you to my parabatai: irukas-sensei.tumblr.com, for helping me with this chapter and for being the most amazing and supporting person in the entire univers! So as always Beta credits goes to her! 
> 
> My tumblr: suchasadbeautifullie.tumblr.com


	5. chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! here is chapet 5! i hope you guys like it!

_ So many thoughts and questions were  running through Kageyama’s head  at the moment , he knew exactly what antidepressants were for, but he just didn’t understand ... why does Hinata have them?  _

_ He could feel his heart breaking apart, pain  like he had never felt before. _

__

 

When K ageyama rushed down the stairs  Hinata and his mom were already waiting for him inside the car,  he has assured himself that every sign of shock or concern has been erased from his face . Kageyama felt awkward  as he was led home ,  he didn't speak a lot in the ride , instead just listened to the redhead boy  and his mother talking about school, work and his grandmother, he felt so relieved the moment they finally reached his house.  He  thanked Hinata’s mom and said goodbye to his  good friend,  quickly walked away towards his house.

His father was already waiting for him on the living room with some papers in hand.

" I’m home! "

" Welcome back, there’ s dinner on the microwave if  you are hungry" he said smiling to his child. 

"No thanks, mom is asleep already ?"

"Yes" Kageyama nodded and turned around to go to his room when he remembered.

"Oh dad, can I borrow your CD player?" Akio Stood in silence a little bit surprised by son request but  then  he nodded.

"It's in the kitchen, oh and it has a plug for headphones so please put them on" 

Kageyama nodded and quickly thanked his father saying good night, he went straight to the kitchen and grabbed the small blue device, running up to his bedroom and as fast as he could, changed into his pajamas and jumped right to bed; he put the CD into the player and enjoyed the next half hour listening to the entire album, he had to say that this wasn't the type of music he expected Hinata to hear, but he liked it, some of the lyrics where in English but he was good enough in it to understand what they were saying. 

He couldn't help but feel happy, thinking about the many times Hinata had done the exact same thing, lying on his bed listening to music and forgetting about everything else, but there was something inside his head... more he thinks about Hinata more worried he got, his mind keeps returning to Hinata’s bedroom, specifically to a small bottle of antidepressants with his name on it. 

He had so many questions about it; was this the reason why Hinata has been sick? For how long has this been going?, But maybe the most important one: was he okay?

 

By monday morning Kageyama had listened to the entire album a total of 103 times, he knew every song from start to finish and he was absolutely in love with it. 

 

Kageyama was changing his shoes in his locker when he heard a cute giggle behind him. 

“I know that song” Hinata said smiling at his friend while taking off his own shoes. 

Kageyama smiled embarrassed while scratching the back of his neck.

“Well they are really good, I really like them”

“You do ? !” Hinata’s expression changed immediately, surprise, excitement, happiness, eyes shining, the biggest smile Kageyama had ever seen, it made his heart melt, the small blocker was just so cute. He decided that this was his favorite expression of Hinata and he want it to see it more.

“Yeah! Do you have more CDs of them?” 

“Yes of course! I’ll bring them tomorrow for you!” 

Kageyama started to sweat and he was surely going to faint. Hinata was holding his hands and his face was too close to his, people may be looking at them weirdly but he didn’t care, in fact he wanted to stay like this for as long as he could.

 

 

 

“Kageyama! Tsukishima! Stop with the bickering and listen to me ! ” they players immediately stood quiet at their captain yelling, the team was sitting down at the club room, they had just finished practice and were waiting for their leader to make an important announcement.

“Okay so, the first announcement is that we would be having a training camp this year too” Suga quickly covered his ears, just when Tanaka, Nishinoya and Hinata started screaming. 

“Silence I’m not finished!” Suga smiled at his friend; Daichi was one of the kindest person he had ever meet so he always found funny to look at him when he was all furious. 

“After our training camp, we would be traveling to Tokyo to play against Nekoma, one last practice match before the cup starts” once again the vice-captain had to cover his ears because of his team mates loudness-

“SILENCE! The training camp will be in two weeks so start getting ready” and with some words from their coach about training they were off.

 

 

“Excuse the intrusion” Kageyama said while entering Hinata’s room. It was Wednesday and they were meeting again to continue with their school project. Kageyama was dying to ask Hinata about the antidepressants but he didn’t know how to approach the topic, what if he just makes him upset? What if the answer is too much for him to take? 

He was so absorb in his own thoughts he didn’t even listened to Hinata talking or calling his name until he felt his palm connecting with his cheek.

“Ow, what was that for?” Kageyama said rubbing his sore and red cheek.

“Sorry, but you weren’t listening to me” Hinata said with a little smile while handing him a water bottle. “Are you okay?” the small boy asked.

“Yeah, actually there is something I want to ask you...” Kageyama was staring at the floor waiting for an answer that never came, but when he looked up he found his friend looking at him with expectation.

“The other day I found some antidepressants with your name under the bed” Hinata’s face went blank, all color faded from his skin “but is not that I was looking at your stuff, is just that’s I had drop my pencil case and the medicine where there” Kageyama quickly said.

His heart was beating hard against his chest, so hard that he could even listen to it. It was difficult to tell exactly what Hinata was thinking. There where to many emotions on his face; fear, shock, embarrassment, sadness, relieve. The small boy started to sob and it quickly escalated to a full intense crying. A couple of seconds passed before Kageyama finally reacted and quickly wrapped his arms around his friend, holding his head close to his chest and passing a hand through his rebellious red hair. He had never done something like this before so he felt like his movement were too awkward but his friend didn’t seem to care.

He had never seen Hinata like this before, not even when they had lost against  Aobajosai ,  he could feel Hinata’s tears wetting his shirt, the small boy was holding tight to his arms it was almost painful but he didn’t care at all.

He wasn’t sure for how long they stayed like this, minutes maybe hours, until the cries finally stopped and Hinata lifted up his head to look at Kageyama, his eyes all fluffy, dry tears all over his face and his mouth on a small pout that made Kageyama heart race and break at the same time.

“I’m sorry” Hinata said while cleaning his nose with his arm (something that Kageyama thought was extremely adorable). “It’s hard to talk about it” 

 

Kageyama nodded and brought him closer to his chest. He felt like this was probably going to be an awkward situation after the heat of the moment has passed, this is not the normal way they are with each other; pats in the back, estrange words of encouragement, but this cuddling was definitely not on the list and Kageyama couldn’t care less.

 

“Hinata talk to me” the setter said while lifting up Hinata’s chin so they were looking at each other face to face. The red haired boy nodded and started to play with the hem of Kageyama’s shirt.

“M om and dad married after my mom got pregnant of me, it was an obligation... my father never love her or me. He was actually really aggressive with us” Hinata’s eyes were starting to get watery again  and Kageyama could notice that he was struggling to speak “He was always coming home drunk, screaming at my mother and me, sometimes he would even hit us both, and he was always telling me that I had ruined his life, that it was all my fault” Kageyama’s hands were tighten around Hinata, he could feel his blood burning. “After Natsu was born we found out that he had a lover, and after he realized that there was no reason for him to hide it anymore, he left” Hinata took a deep breath before continuing “and that’s when it happened, I started to feel sad and at the same time I started to hate myself, to feel like I wasn’t worthy of anything, it was a constant battle inside my head, I felt trapped... so scared and so confused, I used to watch the other kids around me and thinking that they looked so happy but that I could never be like them... Like if I wasn't worthy of happiness, Since then I didn’t felt like doing anything anymore, so I just stopped caring, about school, friends, it was like all energy had been drained from my body. One day I ask my mom if she would miss me if I died, I remember she looked at me horrified and asked me why I was saying things like that and I that's when I told her that I had thought that I will like to die. She got so worried that she took me with a psychologist who diagnosed me with depression, I started to take antidepressants and it was like I had been born again, I was feeling better but I still had my pretty bad days, I was supposed to take the medicine for only a little while but it’s been 4 years and I haven’t stop taken it. Recently I was starting to feel bad again, like really bad, so my doctor gave me a stronger doses and I been taking them for about a month and a half but my body is having a hard time getting used to it, that’s why I been kinda sick” Kageyama wiped away a tear that was rolling down Hinata’s cheek with his thumb, he slowly caressed his cheek and without eve notice he was tracing his lips, he want it to kiss him so bad. He wanted all that pain to disappear from this beautiful human being.

 

“Kageyama?” Hinata’s voice brought him out of trance and when he realized what he was doing he immediately took his hand away and turned his head to the side trying to avoid the other boy from seeing his red face.

“Hinata ” he said noticing his voice was coming out raspy, he cleared his throat “I’ll help you with anything you need, okay? If you want to talk or whatever you need, I will help you, After all I can’t conquer the world without you” Kageyama said smiling shyly at his friend and it made Hinata’s heart race, he had never seen him smile like this, a smile full of kindness and support. 

 

 

As soon as Kageyama got home the first thing he did was turn on the computer and start searching about depression and antidepressant, he want it to help Hinata on everything he could.

What Is Depression?

 

Everyone occasionally feels blue or sad. But these feelings are usually short-lived and pass within a couple of days. When you have depression, it interferes with daily life and causes pain for both you and those who care about you. Depression is a common but serious illness.

Major depression ,— severe symptoms that interfere with your ability to work, sleep, study, eat, and enjoy life. An episode can occur only once in a person’s lifetime, but more often, a person has several episodes.

 

Persistent depressive disorder—depressed mood that lasts for at least 2 years. A person diagnosed with persistent depressive disorder may have episodes of major depression along with periods of less severe symptoms, but symptoms must last for 2 years.

Kageyama frowned, according to this article Hinata shouldn’t be like this, he said that he have been depress for 4 year but persistent depression only last it for 2 years. He continued reading.

 

Signs and symptoms include:

 

Persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" feelings

Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism

Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness

Irritability, restlessness

Loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable, including sex

Fatigue and decreased energy

Difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions

Insomnia, early-morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping

Overeating, or appetite loss

Thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts

Aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not ease even with treatment.

Kageyama had never seen Hinata like this, it was probably because of his treatment that kept his depression under control, but it was really hard to imagine Hinata every behaving like this, feeling like this. The thought brought a pain on his stomach.

 

Treatments

 

Once diagnosed, a person with depression can be treated in several ways. The most common treatments are medication and psychotherapy.

 

Medication

 

Antidepressants primarily work on brain chemicals called neurotransmitters, especially serotonin and norepinephrine. Other antidepressants work on the neurotransmitter dopamine. Scientists have found that these particular chemicals are involved in regulating mood, but they are unsure of the exact ways that they work.

Common Side Effects of Antidepressants

Antidepressants can sometimes cause a wide range of unpleasant side effects, including:

 

nausea

increased  appetite and weight gain (in some cases weight loss)

loss  of sexual desire and other sexual problems, such as erectile dysfunction and decreased orgasm

fatigue  and drowsiness

insomnia

dry  mouth

blurred  vision

constipation

dizziness

agitation

irritability

anxiety

 

Kageyama started to take notes on his phone, searching for anything he could do to help, food and supplements to help Hinata with his weight, things to help him sleep at night, just anything that was in his hand.

This was the boy he loved, his first crush, his best friend, his team mate and he was going to save him no matter what.

 

 

“What is this?” Hinata said taking the bottle that Kageyama was offering him, there was a strange white, almost cream liquid inside of it, it reminded him of milkshake.

“Is a supplement for meals, its actually for babies but it'll help you gain some weight” Kageyama said scratching the back of his neck, Hinata smiled and started to drink it, it actually tasted very nice. 

Kageyama started to tell him about things he could do before going to bed to get a better sleep; like taking a bath, drinking some hot meal, and reading. He also gave him a recipe book full that was supposed to be very healthy and nutritive for him.

Hinata felt really happy about how much his friend cared, and he had to admit that he actually liked the attention he was getting from the setter.

 

“Hey Kageyama” Hinata said interrupting him in the middle of a sentence about why he had to drink more water that anyone else.

“Yes”

“Would you like to go with me next week to my doctor’s appointment?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> beta credits goest to my lovely Parabatai: irukas-sensei.tumblr.com
> 
> my tumblr: suchasadbeautifullie.tumblr.com


	6. chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well hello! and welcome back! i really hope you enjoy this chapter and i hope you are also liking my new story! 
> 
> my tumblr:suchasadbeautifullie.tumblr.com
> 
> and beta credits to my amazing Parabatai: irukas-sensei.tumblr.com

_WHAT!?” the power of three voices screaming together was so strong that Hinata was sure it could be hear from the street._

_As promised Hinata took Kageyama with him and his mom to his doctor’s appointment and he was glad he did it because having Kageyama next to him gave him courage to express his true feelings; now three pair of eyes full of horror were looking at him, he couldn’t help to ask himself if it would have been better to keep his mouth shut._

_“You hear me. I want to stop taking anti-depressants!”_

_“Sho-shouyo, why are you asking this?” Doctor Lynn questioned sitting next to him and putting her hand on top of his. She was a tall woman with dark blue hair; she was around his mother age._

_The first time his mom took him to see Doctor Lynn he was very scared, for so long he had been keeping his feelings to himself afraid of bothering anyone and then, suddenly,  he was standing on a cold office with tons of art pictures hanging on the walls with a woman he didn’t knew at all, answering personal and difficult questions that he didn’t even knew the answer to, but he got used to it, he started enjoying his sessions with the Doctor and even started to consider her like family._

_“I’m just tired on letting my happiness depend on a drug! I want to take control of my life” He immediately felt his mother arms rapping around him, he got a little worry when he heard her sobbing against his body, but everything faded away when he saw the smile of happiness on her face, even Kageyama was looking at him with proud._

_Doctor Lynn nodded._

_“Very well! Obviously I can’t stop giving you the anti-depressants out of nowhere, even when you have been taking them for so long..." She sighed "We'll have to take this slowly, starting with sending you lower doses”_

_Hinata smiled and looked at the people around him, he felt so happy and thankful for everything, he knew that it wasn’t going to be easy but he also knew that he wasn’t going to be alone anymore._

_\---_

_“I decided to tell the rest of the team”_

_Kageyama and Hinata were currently sending passes to each other on Hinata’s backyard, they just had came back from the doctor appointment and the red haired boy mother had invited Kageyama to stay over for dinner, so while they were waiting for the food to be ready they decided to play some volleyball._

_They had been doing this a lot lately. Kageyama really loved spending time at Hinata’s house, it made him feel that maybe one day in the future he would be walking through the door as Hinata’s boyfriend, so he was just taking the opportunity to please Hinata’s family; complementing Tamiko on her cooking, paying princess with Natsu, and listening stories from Hinata’s grandparents._

_“I think is the best thing to do” even if Kageyama wouldn’t dare to admitted, he felt a little sad about Hinata telling the rest of the team, because for the past week he had learn so much about him, things that nobody else knew about the mid blocker that it actually made him feel special._

_“I’m still nervous though, I hope they take it well” Kageyama catches the ball with both hands and walked over Hinata taking the boy on a warm hug, he buried his nose on the red hair that smells like strawberries._

_“It’s going to be okay”_

_\--_

_“When I was younger my father decided to leave my mother, my sister and I to be with another woman…” the entire Karasuno team was sitting down on the floor of the court in complete silence looking at their small friend talk with trembling hands. When Hinata walked into Daichi and coach that morning to talk about his final decision of telling the rest of the team about his condition the older ones felt shocked but proud and happy at the same time, so at the end of practice they called up everyone for a meeting._

_Suga and Daichi where next to Hinata alongside with Takeda-sensei and coach Ukai, on the other side was Kageyama who looked as he was ready to murder anyone who dare to molest Hinata, especially if it was Tsukishima._

_Even thought Hinata was really nervous he felt pretty calm while speaking, he used to find it difficult to talk about his issue, especially because he had had really hard times finding the right words to explain his feelings all by himself, but lately he had told the story so many times and to so many different kinds of people that it was almost as if the words just came out by themselves._

_After he was done telling the story Hinata stood quiet looking at his team mates faces._

_Tanaka, Noya and Asahi where definitely crying, the rest of the team was just looking at him with sympathy and even Tsukishima was looking at him with a lot of respect._

_Hinata took a deep breath and continued._

_“I have decide to stop taking anti-depressants, obviously I been taking them for so long and my body is now used to them that I just cannot stop taking them all at once, so my doctor and I have decide to slowly start lowering the doses” he turned to look at Kageyama who gave him a quick nod encouraging him, he turned his attention back to his team mates. “I just don’t want my happiness to depend on a drug, but it’s going to be hard and I can’t do it alone, I need you all” the moment Hinata finished Tanaka, Nishinoya and even Asahi embraced his friend in what was probably the strongest hug the poor boy had ever received in his life and it was accompanied with a lot of crying and love words, especially from Tanaka. The rest of the team showed their support as well (but not as extreme as the others), he still received a few hugs and even a pat in the back from Tsukishima and a kiss on the check from Shimizu that made the small mid blocker blush and Kageyama to almost burn holes at the managers skull._

_Hina felt happy and proud of himself like he had never felt before._

_\--_

_“I’m gay” as soon as the words left his mouth Kageyama closed his eyes. For some reason in his mind he was expecting that the moment he said this out loud a bomb was going to explode or that there was going to be an earthquake but all he got was silence, a silence that was making him feel more anxious, like the seconds where just as long as hours._

_“Tobio” the sound of his mother calling him made him open his eyes. His parents where in the exact same spot they were before he closed his eyes, sitting in the big blue couch of their living room. He started to look for any sign of disappointment or anger but their expressions where just as always, totally blank and gentle._

_“Son, did you thought that we were going to kick you out or something?” his father said with a little smirk._

_“Uh I…”_

_“Kageyama Tobio!” his mother said standing up and walking towards him smacking the back of his head “You are our son, there for, we'll love you whether you are gay or straight, whether you have two legs or four or whether your skin were green on pink” this caused Kageyama to relax and even let out a small laugh._

_He had been so nervous the entire week about coming out to his parents, but seeing Hinata been so brave and facing his fear made him feel inspired and gave him courage to do the same._

_“However” his mother continued “ I am very upset that you didn’t told us before!” Kageyama hugged his mom tightly._

_“I’m sorry mom” she exchanged a look and a smile with his husband and returned her son hug while passing a hand through his hair._

_“Now Tobio is there any boy you like?”_

_Kageyama tensed at his father question, trying to keep a straight face but his rose cheeks gave him away._

_“OH MY GOD TOBIO! Who is it? Do we know him? Is he at your school? Does he play volleyball? How old is he?” Yuri questioned her son, Kageyama started to sweat and quickly run toward the door putting on his shoes._

_“I’m sorry I have things to do”_

_“Wait! you haven’t answers any of my questions! Are you already dating him? Are you sleeping together? Are you been save?” Kageyama didn’t want it to hear the rest of his mother’s questions so he didn’t even bother to tie up his shoes; as soon as he had them on he was already running out of the house letting the door close behind his back._

_“You are so nosy” Akio said to his wife once Kageyama was out of the house, she turned around and stuck her tongue out to him only to have his husband laughing at her childish behavior._

_\--_

_A week had passed since Kageyama had come out to his parents and much to his surprise and relive nothing had changed, his parents still treated him the same way, except for his mother occasional questions about boys but lucky for him, he has his father to rescue him, probably because his dad know that when he is ready he will tell them about Hinata._

_After accepting his sexuality in the fact that he was madly in love with his team mate he felt more relaxed in every way, even looking at him, he now allows himself to stare at Hinata longer than he probably should; not because he feels like what he's doing is wrong, but because it was getting dangerous for his health, getting boners in the middle of practice for looking at Hinata’s butt and legs on his volleyball uniform, or felling like he was running out of air every time the small boy smiled at him, but even with all those beautiful feelings he couldn’t help but feel guilty, because Hinata had opened up to him so much, he had told him so many secrets and fears and Kageyama wanted to do the same thing, he wants to tell the small boy that he is gay and that he is madly in love with him but every time he has the opportunity to talk with him a wave of fear will run through his body, fear of being rejected, fear of being hated._

_On the other hand Hinata had never felt more happy, he felt so relax and calm now that he had nothing to hide. He also felt very loved, his team mates where constantly looking out for him, bring him food, asking him how he was feeling, tanaka and Nishinoya where constantly pulling pranks on people just for Hinata’s entertainment, but apart from that everything was exactly the same._

_The only thing that had changed was his relationship with Kageyama, but it had changed for the better, they were getting so close to each other, feeling more comfortable than ever, they were even playing better together and now that he had opened up to him he felt like Kageyama was eventually going to do the same thing, because sometimes his friend looked at him like wanting to say something important but he's always so quiet. Hinata can't said anything, he didn’t want it to apply any pressure on him, so he decided that when Kageyama was ready to talk he will listen._

_\--_

_That night Hinata was talking on the phone with Kenma, he was catching up his friend on everything that had happened lately, it had been a while since the last time they spoke to each other, because Kenma had been busy studying for exams and Hinata had been busy trying to face his fears, but he was so happy to finally be able to talk with his friend who had helped him so much in the past._

_“I’m so happy and proud of you Shouyo” Kenma said , Hinata could swore that he could even hear a smile on the tone of his voice._

_“Thank you! I still can't believe that this is all happening, like, Kageyama was so nice to me and kind and he has been so great, I mean all of the guys have, but he had been specially fantastic, and I don’t know why” Hinata heard Kenma snicker on the side of the line. “What?”_

_“Shouyo, you really don’t know?”_

_“Know what?” the younger boy asked feeling even more confused than before._

_“Why Kageyama has been acting so nice with you” Hinata remained silence waiting for Kenma to continue._

_“He likes you”_


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I’m so sorry it took me so much time to upload this! But better late than ever (or something like that) ant way I hope you enjoy this chapter and am leaving a link to the song that Kageyama is listening to, I hope you like it because I love this song and this is one of my favorite bands! And Hinata’s favorite band too! (Well at least on this fic it is).
> 
> Also I wanted to ask you guys if any of you had read the throne of glass saga by Sarah J Mass. I really want to read it but I heard very different opinions about it so am not sure, do you guys recommended? 
> 
> Thanks for reading and I love you all!!! 
> 
> Here is the studio version of the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IXCaDkRPYJs
> 
> Here is an acustic version of the song (sub in english) :https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkBzwxhJ5uk

_“He likes you”_  
“Well of course I like him too! He is my team mate” Hinata said as if he was pointing the obvious.   
Kenma sighed.

“No, I mean that he likes you as more than a team mate”  
“A friend?”  
“No”  
“A best friend?”  
“No! More”  
“A brother?”  
“No!” Kenma said this time with a more irritating tone on his voice.   
“A father?”  
“Shouyo!”  
“Then what?!”

“He is in love with you!” Hinata went quiet, kenma’s words resonating inside of his head, sending a shiver down his spine.

He felt a strange sensation on his body although it wasn’t so strange anymore because he had been feeling it a lot lately; inexplicable fast heart beats and tickles inside of his stomach.  
He is not sure for how long he stood in silence playing with the cord of the phone and staring at the roof of his bedroom full of those lighting in the dark stars that he had put up when he was eight.  
“Shouyo” Kenma brought him out of his trance, the older boy sounded concern. Hinata gave him nervous laugh.   
“Kenma what are you saying? Kageyama is a boy!”

The Tokyo boy snort.   
“Yes I know”  
“There for is impossible!”  
“Why do you say that?”  
“Because…” Hinata hesitated “Is just impossible!”  
“Shouyo…” Kenma said in calming voice that reminded Hinata of his mother “In this world there are all type of people, and some boys like boys, just like some girls like girls and some people just like both, and that is completely fine”  
Hinata remained in silence analyzing and progressing everything the blond one had just said. It was true that Kageyama had never shown any sort of interest on any girl before (at least not that he remembered) but he had never shown any interest on a boy neither, although Hinata couldn’t really know since he felt that this was a delicate subject to talk about, and Kageyama being the reserved person he was, he probably wasn’t going to be announcing it to the school with a speaker. But Hinata did felt a little hurt, he had opened his heart to Kageyama trusting him with the biggest secret of his life, he had expected that the other boy would trust him enough too to tell him something like this, plus it wasn’t like Hinata was going to judge him. on the other hand the idea of Kageyama being in love with him just sound it absolutely ridicules, if Kageyama were to be in love with someone at the team it would probably be Daichi , he looked more like the type of guy Kageyama will look for not Hinata, of that he was sure.  
 So why was he feeling so anxious?  


 

 

 

  
Hinata reminded Kageyama of the sun; not because of his bright red hair or his beaming personality, it was because he was warm, there was something about Hinata that make him feel as if he was never going to be cold again; Like the spring sunlight’s melting the snow after a long and cold winter.

Maybe it was that, that Hinata was warm, or maybe it was just part of being in love; felling as if you could just climb the Everest naked and wouldn’t even shiver once from the coldness.  


Even though the boys were already done with their science project, they were still hanging out almost every day at Hinata’s house, playing volleyball or video games, and watching videos on YouTube of the best volleyball players in the world then trying out the moves that they saw.   


“109 wins for me, you have 108” Hinata said panting with one of his hands against de white wall of the gym for support, Kageyama nodded still trying to catch his  breath , closing his eyes and enjoying the feeling of his heart palpitating fast and hard against his rib cage.

“Hinata, Kageyama-kun?” The short haired blond girl said from the door of the gym, Hinata jumped in front of her making her scream .  
“Yachi! You are back!” she giggled and nodded.

“Welcome back Yachi-san” Kageyama said with a calm voice.  
“OH is Yachi!” before the poor girl had even time to react, Noya and Tanaka were already squeezing her in a tight hug.  
“You two!” Daichi said grabbing both of the boys arms and yanking them away from the first year girl.  
“How was Cancun Yachi-san?” Suga asked once he saw that she had recovered her breath, Yachi smiled at him.   
“It was very good”

 

 

  
“Okay, I hope you have everything pack because we are leaving tomorrow morning  and we would be going to Tokyo right after the camp so we won’t be coming home for a little while” The coach said after practice. The team was having a little last minute reunion to finish deciding some stuff for the trip. But Hinata wasn’t really paying attention to whatever the Sensei was saying ,  instead he was looking at the back of Kageyama’s head, he couldn’t get the conversation he had with Kenma out of his head, millions of questions running through his mind; What if Kageyama was indeed gay? What if he was actually in love with Hinata? Will things get awkward? Will Hinata even mind? Will he give Kageyama a shot? Was he even gay? So many questions that he just didn’t had the answers for.

 

 

 

 

“What did you want it to talk about Hinata? Actually before that, how you been?” Yachi said before taking a big sip of her her juice. She was sitting next to Hinata on the swing of the playground close to her house, she was already aware of everything that was going on because he had told her over a very long, detailed and full of grammar mistake e-mail that he had send her while she was away.

Hinata considered Yachi to be one of his closes friend, if not his best friend, he actually considered many times to tell her about his depression problems but he just never found the way or the right time to do so.

Hinata took a deep breath.  
“What do you think is Kageyama’s type?”

“What do you mean?”  
“Like the type of person he would date” Yachi reminded silence for a moment, a serious expression on her face.  
“Um probably someone like you!” Hinata choke on his drink, almost falling out of the swing, eyes wide open staring back at his friend.  
“Like me?!”   
“Yeah! Someone that loves volleyball and that is hard worker and energetic like you!”   
“Do you think he is in love with me?!” he said rising his voice a little more.   
“WHAT?! I didn’t s-”

“Do you think he likes boys!?”  
“I DON’T KNOW!” By now Hinata and Yachi were already on their feet staring at each other with a mixture of shock, confusion and disbelief.

“Why are you saying this all of a sudden?” Yachi said once she had recovered her breath a little.   
“I-I Kenma, he told me that the reason why Kageyama was being so nice to me is because he is in love with me”  
The small mid blocker said dropping himself back on the swing, covering his face with his hands in embarrassment.  
“Well maybe he is right” Hinata lifted his head up and stared at his friend unsettling.   
“I mean I have seen many girls confessing to him but he always reject them, he always tells them that he is not interested, Maybe he is just not interested in girls!” she said snapping her fingers, her face beaming like she had just discover the cure of cancer.  
Hinata sighed and let his head down again, more questions making space on his list.

He wanted to ask Kageyama if all of this was true but he was scare to do it. What if his friend got offended? What if he was right? What was he supposed to do now?  


 

 

 

“Oi Hinata are you okay?” Kageyama asked when he saw his small friend yawning for the fifth time in a less than a minute. The Karasuno volleyball team was already on the bus on their way to their three day training camp.

Nishinoya and Tanaka were singing old childhood songs, Daichi was yelling at them asking them to shut up, and Suga was just laughing at his friend. Tsukishima was listening to music and Yamaguchi was reading a comic.

Kinoshita, Narita and Ennoshit where looking at a volleyball magazine. Asahi was fast sleep and Yachi and Shimizu where sitting on the first seats talking enthusiastically to each other.  
Hinata yawned again and turned to look at Kageyama giving him a tired and small smile.   
“Yeah just a little tired” he yawned again.  
Kageyama stared at the big circles under his eyes; it had been a while since Hinata had looked this tired.   
“Dumbass if you are tired you can sleep” he said turning his face to the window, avoiding Hinata’s eye and hopping he hadn’t seen the concern on his face.   
“Thank you” Hinata said and let his head fall back. The minute it touched the back of the seat his eyes closed, he was so tired, he hadn’t sleep at all the night before, in part because of the excitement and also because of the whole Kageyama thing. So he was definitely thankful for a little nap.  
Kageyama took out his phone and headphones he looked at the music app on his phone and went to the artist section clicking on _one ok rock_. Putting the songs on shuffle, _heartache_ started to play. The song was halfway through when he felt a weight on his left shoulder; he turned to look only to find Hinata fast sleep with his head against Kageyama’s arm. His heart started to race the butterfly’s on his stomach flying crazier than ever. He was very careful not to make too much movement, his hand aching to hold Hinata’s one but he contained himself, feeling happy just by looking at his team mate sleeping face. He couldn’t contain the smile that spread across his face, he was so absorb in the bubble of Hinata’s warms that he didn’t notice Yachi staring at him from across the bus.  


 

 

The place they were staying was a summer house that belonged to Yachi’s family, her mother had agreed for them to stay in there just so they could pay a nice hotel while in Tokyo. The house wasn’t too big but it had two bedrooms, one for the coach and the sensei to sleep in and one for the girls, the team were taking the living room, so it was just perfect. The only thing they were worry about was the fact that there were only two bathrooms and only one had a shower. They arrived around three o clock and immediately started to train, they had installed a portable volleyball net on the backyard and played for the rest of the afternoon until seven pm when it was time for dinner; because the kitchen was small they took turns on eating and showering and setting up the futons.

 

 

Somehow Hinata managed to sneak out from the group and went to sit down at the stairs of the front porch, he needed to clear his mind , he doesn’t remember a time on his life where he had felt this confused before, so many things were happening all at once and he just didn’t knew how to handle them. First it was the volleyball and the tournament coming soon, and then it was the thing with his depression and medication and of course now it was the situation with Kageyama. He sighed running his fingers through his hair, he didn’t had an appointment with doctor Lynn until next month but he really wish he could speak to her right now, she always told him that he could call her any time he want it but he felt embarrassed to do it, although this time he was seriously considering the possibility on talking to her, after all she was probably the only person that could give her a more real explanation and perspective of the situation.

He took out his phone and went to his contact list (which had grown a lot the past year) and started scrolling until he landed on doctors Lynn name, his hands were sweating and his mind was hesitating, he closed his eyes almost as if he was scare of what he was about to do when suddenly a call of his name made him jump causing him to almost drop his phone. Kageyama was staring at him from the door of the house, a towel hanging loos around his shoulders and little drops of waters falling from his hair to his face and neck wetting his shirt.

“May I sit?” he said pointing at the empty space next to Hinata, the small boy nodded and moved a little to make more room for the two of them. They stayed in silence, Kageyama drying his hair with the towel and Hinata staring at the big bright moon above them. He felt gawky and he wondered if Kageyama could sense the way he was feeling but the older by looked relax, like always.  
“How you feeling?” It took a moment for the red haired boy to realize that he was being asked a question and when he turned to look at his friend he almost lost his balance when he found Kageyama’s face so close to him. His heart started to race and his cheeks turned red.  
“Oh uuum” he cleared his throat “Good” Kageyama stared at him in doubt.

“Really? You look tired and you didn’t eat much tonight, are your medications giving you trouble?” the raven boy sounded concerned and it made him feel guilty. Hinata smiled and shook his head.   
“I’m fine, I’m just overwhelm” he said lowering his head down embarrassed.  
“Why?”  
“Well I just didn’t expect things to be this way; I didn’t expect everyone to be so nice about it and so kind and respectful! And you! I didn’t expect you to be so amazing and supportive, like you literally been the one that has been more concerned about me and you have helped me so much! Am so thankful for everything you done” Hinata spoke so fast that if it wasn’t for the fact that they spend so much time together Kageyama probably wouldn’t have understand a single word he said.  
Sometime happened to Kageyama , it was as if Hinata’s words had turned off the switch of danger inside of his mind, like his brain just couldn’t control his body anymore and before he could stop himself it was just too late.  
“I’m in love with you” He said loud and clear “Hinata, I love you”


	8. Not an update

Hello guys! I'm so sorry! I know some of you are still reading this and it makes so happy. The truth is when I came up with this idea I thought specific moments of the story but I forgot what was going to go in the middle of all of that. I want to finish this I really do but I'm not sure yet as to where to go now. So I will take my time and I promise you the next notification of this story you get will beba new chapter ! Again I'm really sorry ...

**Author's Note:**

> Beta credits goes to my amazing Parabatai! thelightwoodfamily.tumblr.com  
> Any comment, any constructive criticism is welcome!!


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